“I made all of 93 cents the whole damn night, and this guy just wouldn’t get out of my face until I gave him 15 percent”, Joe Indieman told police officers recently after being mugged near the campus of Arizona State University. “He kept yelling in my face…”you mess with the bull, you get the horns””, stated Joe, “You mess with ASCAP, you get those horns right up your ass”.
The mugger was later found to be ‘Texas’ Rex Torshin, an unofficial representative of ASCAP who happens to be missing two fingers on his left hand. ASCAP denied Torshin being on corporate payroll, stating he’s simply a “friend of the company”.
The 62 year old homeless Indieman likes to play his guitar outside of the Mill Ave. bars, just a few short blocks from ASU campus. His specialty is a heartfelt acoustic rendition of the score from Barbara Streisand’s hit movie, Yentl. He can also bring the house down with his A cappella version of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” where he likes to lay flat on his back while singing. After heckling Indieman for nearly an hour, Torshin then wrestled him to the ground and took 14 cents out of his tip jar…which was slightly more than 15% of his earnings for the night. Torshin was charged with theft and battery, but the case was immediately dismissed in court by a judge with an Italian last name.
A group of ASU students chipped in to buy Indieman a new guitar, and they brought him to tears when they surprised him with an autographed copy of the original Yentl soundtrack on vinyl.
NOTE: This horrific tale was inspired by the real life news article – ‘End of the song’